E-Memoirs

The grass is always greener...or is it?

Isn’t it true that we always seem to want the opposite of what we have? My hair was stick straight growing up. I had that glassy thin hair that my mother cut into a chili bowl…a great look for sure. So when I was able to do so, I starting getting perms to create luscious curls. OK, that’s a lie. I never had luscious curls. My hair looked like a cat had been sucking on it, to steal a line from my beloved mother. But it wasn’t straight.

That has nothing to do with Plastic Surgery. What is relevant here is boobs. Breasts…the platform on which the heart and soul of Plastic Surgery is built. As a female surgeon, I feel I am entitled to the slang: I can get away with saying boobies…or hooters….or (as my beloved friend always says) bosoms. If you’ve got them, you can say that. My reality has always been an excess of breast…so much that several years ago I pursued the reduction route. Yes, the idea of reducing breasts makes many men weak in the knees. Many of my male surgeon colleagues would tell me when I was still doing cases at the hospitals that it should be ‘illegal’ to reduce the volume of a breast. But sometimes more is not more.

On a daily basis, I discuss breast augmentation with my patients. There is a reason it is the most popular surgery in the world of Plastics. It is easy, quick…a 30 minute endeavor. And it is instant gratification. Most of my patients are bra shopping literally the very next day. It is exciting to see their joy at having fuller, perkier breasts. But internally I admit that I don’t get it. Patients ask me all the time, ‘Do you have implants? What size are you?’ Another reality of being a female plastic surgeon: you live out loud a little because I doubt these women are asking male surgeons what their wives have. And that’s OK because it’s part of the relationship I develop with my patients.

Nope, I do not have implants and I’ll never have implants because I’ve lived my life on the opposite end of the spectrum. I want what I do not have; I want the opposite of what I’ve got. Except for my husband…I want exactly what I’ve got. And my office…and my family and friends…and my little car…and my house…and my dogs.

OK, the grass is not always greener. I’ll keep what I’ve got but I would be thrilled to help you discover ‘the other side’.

Here’s up to it!

E